More Daddy

A couple of days ago, the three of us were sitting on the couch. Jace was working from home for the day and took a short break to say "hi". Jadyn started signing *more* so we asked her what she wanted more of. She pointed to Jace. I asked "More Daddy?" because I thought maybe she was just confused, but then she continued to say "More Daddy, More Daddy!"

Goodness, does that girl know how to break my heart! At not even two, she understands that she needs her daddy. The role of Dad is so much more complicated than Mom, at least in our situation. Dad is the provider that goes to work and is Mr. Graphic Designer most of the day, but then he is also expected to shift to Super Dad when he gets home. Me? I'm just Mom. Something I have learned to accept and love because of all the roles that branch from it.

Jace works some pretty long hours and on top of it, he goes to school downtown. She gets an average of 2 hours a day with him, which is more than others get I'm sure. Mondays and Thursdays he doesn't get home until long after she is in bed.

I have battled with the inner complaints of it being his fault that he isn't here more, but the truth is, he is doing the best he can and maybe a little more. And the only reason Jadyn and I beg for more Daddy is because that man knows how to fill a room. I don't think I will ever stop getting butterflies when I hear his car pull in the garage.

To all you Daddy's out there that are working your tails off, you rock.

There will never be enough Daddy.

Brain dump.

I have a confession to make. Sometimes, when I think of this second baby I'm having in less than 4 months I get really scared. I have been reading quite a few articles about first-child mommies and I realize that I am at least not alone in my anxieties. One is hard. Every new stage brings you back below the learning curve. You worry if they're eating the right things, if they are learning enough, interacting enough with other people. It is me that is holding her back from potty training, because for Pete's sake, I haven't read enough about it! So now I'm going to have two?

It's scary, yet oddly comforting. I notice children that have siblings a lot more now. The younger siblings are more laid back and confident to leave mommy's side longer than 5 minutes. The older siblings are more willing to let things go and they are so helpful! And if THAT isn't enough to ease my worries, this certainly is...

 

There's also a little bit of me that is mourning the loss of my first baby. She's going to grow up whether we like it or not. And though I really don't want to juggle two babies at once, I want her to need me still. 

P.S. We're still debating baby boy's name. Any suggestions you're willing to gift me?

Our Snow Day

 We had a massive blizzard on Friday. Jace worked from home. Too bad I had already chosen to be a slacker the day before and stayed in my pj's. I believe I at least showered before slipping on the exact same pj's for day two. Our snow day mostly revolved around the tent. We had a day-long camp out in the family room. We read books in the tent, ate snacks in the tent, even had arguments about why mommy's very pregnant belly would not fit down the tunnel.

All in all, it was a pretty good day.

Gems

So I have been pretty bad lately about documenting how adorable my daughter is...could be because she's a TODDLER. Like, for reals. They are so busy. Anyways, here's the latest:

*Every morning as I get ready, she gets to work on my drawer of jewelry that I don't wear. She slips on about 10 of my power beads (why I still have those I don't know. Hoarder much?) and as she puts them on she says "One. Two. One. Two. One Two" then holds up her decorated arm and says "Mamma! Nook! Brasips."

*I often call her "baby". Everything is "baby" this and "baby" that. Well, now she assumes that is just what you call people so often she will say things to Jace and I like "Tank you, baby" "Here go, baby" and "Sowy, baby."

* I have been helping my mom clean out her attic, which means I have brought a great number of my old toys home to Jadyn. One of which is a giant stuffed bear that now sits in the corner of her room. Everyday she points to him and says "Bear? Hug?" She is asking me permission to hug the bear. When I grant it she runs over and smoothers herself and says "Awww, nice....bear. Teddy."

*You surprise yourself often by what kind of parent you turn out to be. I have recently taken up bribing. Now, if I say "Jadyn, want a Tic Tac?" she immediately drops to the ground and puts her feet in the air, ready and willing to get her diaper changed. If I do not reward her soon enough she will hold out her hand and in a very matter-of-fact tone say "Tac-Tac."


* She is learning all her shapes right now. If she doesn't know what the shape is, she just calls it a "suckle" (Circle).

My favorite phrases:
"Hold you."
"nuggle" (Snuggle)
" Oh darn it!" (Taught by Grandma)
"Okay" (Yes)

To be continued...

It's a...

 

 

And we couldn't be more thrilled! 

Due May 28ish 

(they keep changing the date)

Our New-Way, New Year's Resolutions

I cannot believe how fast this year has gone by! What an amazing year. So many wonderful things happened.  *sigh*


aaaaannnnd moment's over. Krap, I failed again at becoming Wonder Woman. So for family night, I planned for Jace and I to once again write down our New Year goals. Oh, the painful rehash of all the things I needed to be doing were creeping up my throat again. You don't really have to feel remorse until the end of the year. Denial is my happy place especially in the middle of the year. But the end came again, meaning time to begin. My list was so long last year, so detailed and so stinkin ambitious!

Jace pulled out two little square pieces of paper and pens for us. My first thought was " I need about 7 more of those little dudes." But then, Jace presented one of his oh so charming moments. He had a new idea, as he always does, for how we could do our goals. We were each given 5, only 5 Hopes that we could write down. Obviously, this meant they were to be pretty general and vague. We read ours to each other, talked about them and now plan on spending each family night for the rest of this year, or as long as it takes working on one goal at a time. This is where the details will come in that I love so much. I am so excited about this new idea! So my goals for this year are: (In no particular order)

1. Become more physically fit.
2. Incorporate scripture study/prayer/journaling (a.k.a. PJ'S) more smoothly into my life.
3. Become a better mother.
4. Fall more in love with my husband. 
5. Go to the temple regularly. 


On another note: For those of you that don't already know, I have an announcement to make...

 

...but not till tomorrow ;) 

Ya. There's a stain on my shirt. Too lazy to edit it out. 

Catch Up

Miss me?

Well...we moved! Absence officially excused. The house is coming together quite nicely. I had these horrible images in my head of empty rooms and mismatched furniture, but I have been pleasantly surprised by how much we pull off with the things we've have since newbies. Our house is feeling more home-like all the time.

Now I KNOW everyone wants to see pictures of the house, and you'll get a taste, but I want it to be more finished before a full on tour is initiated. Yes, I'm crazy, and moving into a new house has only made this more clear. So! Without further adeui, I give you what I call:

Phase 2
Furniture is all in place, blinds are up and rooms are organized. 

...Phase 3 would be Decor. Oh Happy Day!!

As soon as I finished these pictures Jadyn ran in her room and made a mess of her books again.

 So quick story about the inside-out fort in her room. My sister-in-law, in all her wonderfulness gave this to Jadyn for Christmas. Our first walk-through of it, Jadyn nearly ripped open the beautifully sewn windows because she just wanted to grab all the cute things on the outside. So we flipped it the other way. Problem solved. It's the center of her universe right now. She dives into that house about 5 times a day. 
 
Remember, we are NOW onto phase 3, hence the fancy pajama box at the foot of our bed. And the office actually looks like this right now...

 

I guess we're still in phase 2 with the office. But look at this nifty paper shelf we snagged from Borders!

 

For those of you detective folk, you may have noticed I only showed you the upstairs. The kitchen is being saved for a day with better lighting, because it's actually my favorite room right now. So this unofficial tour will have to be continued. 

Also, I managed to put up a few Christmas decorations before Christmas! (I'm letting way too much of my crazy show in this post).

 

 All in all, we are loving our home. Jadyn and I go on at least one adventure a day to figure out all the exciting things Frederick has to offer. And oddly enough, small town---LOTS to do!

Yesterday, we checked out the nearest park. Nearest is to be used lightly because really, you walk a few feet and you're at the next to nearest park. They are all over the place!

'Tis not the end but genesis.

Well...I have been MIA for QUITE some time. That's not to say that life has not had plenty of things to blog about. There have been a surplus of lovely bloggable days, but non felt justifiable at the moment. I apologize ahead of time for how intense my posts have been lately. Apparently, I feel things with intensity.

Anyways, some of you are aware of what has been happening with my nephew, Morgan. I believe it was the Monday of September 19th that he fell into the pool and was life-flighted to the hospital. Since then, this very precious 3 year old boy has been the focus of my prayers and the back of all my thoughts. It is true that empathy for this situation can only truly be achieved once you have held your very own child in your hands. But I had wished some times that I didn't have to imagine it.

We visited for a week. The whole family came together and waited. He received some beautiful priesthood blessings, all of which included him being healed. My husband's blessing especially stands out in my mind. I have seen him grow from that responsibility. The whole day of travel to Arizona he fasted, prayed, and prepared. By the time we saw Morgan for the first time and Jace gave him the blessing he was weak to the core. It was a reminder to me that a blessing comes from Heavenly Father, and we must be willing to submit to his will.

We asked for His will often. And all felt that his will was for us to see a miracle; for a nearly dead boy to raise. The out pour of support has been overwhelming. Garage sales, bake sales, auctions, and direct donations were all given to aid Jenedy and Victor with the hospital bills. These random acts of great kindness have taught me that the world is full of really good people, and I often don't give them enough credit.

Jenedy and Victor lived in the hospital. The entire span of months he was there, he was never alone in the room for a second. His body suffered some very grueling pain, but throughout the process, there were tender mercies. He would be able to sleep for a full 36 hours, get a shower, take a nap with his little brother. They were able to remove enough equipment so that his parents could hold him.  Not to mention, the tender mercies distributed throughout the family. In short, we have all grown closer to our faith in God and learned to be a little better and love a little deeper.

On November 12th, two days ago, Victory Morgan finally passed away. I still believe he had been given the power to be healed, but I also believe that Heavenly Father gives us to the right to choose. He chose to be an angel to his family.

We all have our struggles, but it is what we choose to do with them that matters. I choose to allow this to make me believe in a life after death, a life where families can be together forever. I am so grateful I had a concept of where we go after this life from a very early age. I choose to hold those that I love a little closer than usual and appreciate beautiful memories. 

For those of you that had prayed for this special little boy, thank you. It meant something.

At my grandfather's funeral, I sang this song with my sister and cousins. It is based on a poem written by Prophet Gordon B. Hinckley. It too was sung at his funeral. It has always given me great comfort.

What is this thing that men call death?
This quiet passing in the night?
‘Tis not the end but genesis
Of better worlds and greater light

O God, touch Thou my aching heart
And calm my troubled, haunting fears
Let hope and faith, transcendent, pure
Give strength and peace beyond my tears.

There is no death, but only change
With recompense for vict’ry won
The gift of Him who loved all men
The Son of God, the Holy One.

 

 'Tis not the end, but genesis. We'll be seeing you again Mr. Morgan!